Can you be sad and grateful at the same time? I recently had an accident, 2 days before my 40th birthday, a milestone year imho. I fainted and twisted my ankle and hit my head when I fell. It’s been 2.5 weeks since I went to the ER and I’ve stopped using my left leg to walk and stand. I’ve realized how easy it is to take for granted the simple and mundane things able-bodied persons can do like take a shower or cook a meal. What used to take minutes now takes an hour. It is excruciating. Not physically, just the frustration of not doing things the way that I used to.
We are now in year 2 of the pandemic and some days make me feel like I’m in a literal prison cell. I feel stuck. If I’m being honest, I’ve been in a rut for a while. And I don’t know if it’s restlessness from being indoors, in a pandemic, in a cast, immobile, but I feel like there’s a ball of energy in me that’s on the precipice of eruption. Sounds dramatic, I know, but imagine stretching a rubber band and that moment where you’re just about to let go, that’s what I feel.
I feel excited, for so many reasons, nothing’s more obvious than waiting for my ankle to heal so I can do the usual stuff, but to also do the things that I’ve been putting off. I was supposed to go on a camping trip last Feb, I have all my equipment ready and then we had to go into a strict lockdown. I then had my 2nd cat, my condo’s association has recently approved 2 small pets per household, and now I have to get Goya fully vaccinated before I can leave him in a cat hotel.
I simply cannot imagine going through the pandemic alone in my condo and I used to think if I got sick I’d be able to manage on my own, but my family has been such a great help through it all. This may be my toughest birthday, but it’s my most grateful. I love my life.
it begins with a step 